How To Deal With Pressure

Mary was in her late twenties and was the first child of the Victors. She had three younger ones and aged parents. Mary was the bread winner of the family (she was laden with the responsibility of catering for her aged parents, and all the needs and sponsoring of her siblings' education). It was all too much but, she couldn't complain and giving up was never an option to a determined and strong Mary. Her parents were pressuring her to get married because, they wanted grandchildren as soon as possible. She had heard her neighbour's gossiping several times about how she might end up a spinster for the rest of her life, if shedoesn't do anything about it quickly. Her parents went as far as asking her to get a better job, and forgetting her passion. It was merely a child's fantasy to them, and they didn't care much for it. What they didn't know about the new job offer they were pressuring her for was that it wasn't legal, the and that was why the salary was much. 

Pressure is a concept that most people are familiar with because, we are all exposed to it daily. There are basically two types of pressure:

1. Intrinsic Pressure: This type of pressure originates from you, your ideas, beliefs and thoughts. When your mind keeps bugging you to do something for others that you really don't have to, you'll definitely be under pressure. A lot of times, people put themselves under excessive pressure, so much that they begin to bend under their own goals and dreams. Basically, emotions are indisputably pivotal here. Oftentimes, it is because you know you have so much to do and try to put others even before you. It is not wrong to be selfless or caring but you are (your life is) your own responsibility; you are the care giver of your life. You shouldn't be trying to fix everyone at the expense of your life. A lot of people are frustrated because of that. Be mindful of the fact that you can't do everything. The Bible says love your neighbour as yourself, meaning love/ charity starts with you before exhibiting and transferring it to others, it doesn't mean you're inhumane. You should bear in mind that you are important, your well-being is indispensable and you only have to strive to become better and not compete with anyone. 

2. Extrinsic Pressure: This type of pressure emanates from others. Here, they ask you to do something for them or try pushing you towards what they want for themselves or for 'you'. Others in this context include: parents, friends, family (nuclear and extended), groups, and the society at large. They assume that they know they know the best for you, and presumably try to help by pushing you towards those 'better things'. When people compare you to others in order to get you do what they want, never let it get to you. Sometimes, people use 'emotional blackmail' as a tool to manipulate and pressure others which is bad. For example, they will use statements like: if you love me, you'd do this for me. If you're my sister, you'd go any length for me. If you want me happy, then you will. If you're not selfish, then you will put me first always. 



Model: Funsho Davids

Created by:his_storyteller

Helpful Tips In Dealing With Pressure

1. Know what you want and firmly stand your ground: Do not be unwavering in your resolve, with time your faith in your dreams will help others to start believing, and the pressure will gradually reduce. 

2. Talk: Say no when you mean no, and say yes when you should. Make sure you let others know your point of view. Speak with sincerity and open mindedness. Your voice is a very valuable asset, use it.

3. Distance: You need to physically, socially and emotionally distance yourself from where and whoever keeps putting pressure on you. The only thing is that you can choose to get better for you and not them. Stay in good company that will help you grow, understand you and those who you can stay happy with. This will lead us to the next point. 

 You can get a good support group or very supportive friends. Family will do too if they are quite understanding and supportive. A support group will help you feel secure morally and emotionally. Being with like minded people who are sure understand us and show empathy is important. 

5. Responsibility: Responsibilities especially the right ones gives us a sense of fulfillment, and short term happiness as we carry them out. Take responsibility for your choices because they're lead to your tomorrow. Take responsibility for your attitude and your feelings. Guard your heart and what you let in. Don't let others put you down or discourage you. 

It's your life, live it, love it and stay happy. Cheers to a happy and pressure-free life. Thank you for reading, please like, comment and subscribe.

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